Counselling from
the Heart is a way into the deepest layers of your
being. Here, you will find most of your individual problems
simply melt away. Those that remain grow easier to resolve
from this perspective, or to let go entirely.
 When
a client first comes to me, this is where we start. We take
some time to discuss his or her life as it is, to see what
appears to be working and what does not. We discuss any concerns
the client may have about the counselling process, such as
confidentiality. Where change appears desirable, we look at
new goals and how to achieve them.
For example, if a student comes with anxiety
about approaching exams we will work with techniques for relaxation.
If a person is in a situation of domestic violence, we will
consider if it is necessary to move to a safe place, with
all the issues that would surround that decision. Someone
else may be busy with more pleasant choices, such as wondering
whether to move house or to make a career change. Still, there
are most often practical matters to be considered and taken
into account. The most wonderful home will not make you happy
if you can’t pay the mortgage, the most exciting job
in the world won’t satisfy if you don’t earn enough
to feed the kids. All the work on such issues is at the level
of strategies.
However, once we have taken care of the immediate
concerns, we realise that new issues never cease to arise.
Once this is understood, we can move to a deeper level where
true healing is possible.
Counselling from the Heart encourages the art of accepting
what is. However, it is hard to be accepting when one is in
a difficult situation. So, that is why the work begins with
investigating current issues and identifying ways of working
with them. These include solving problems, identifying goals
and looking for solutions.
Each of us eventually discovers that, no
sooner do you solve one problem in life, than another crops
up.
 This
is where the art of acceptance comes in, learning not to fight
with life. It does not mean that one does not do anything
about unpleasant or difficult situations. What it does mean
is being at peace with the fact that the outcome of our efforts
is not always in our hands. We do our best and then we can
relax.
My mother is in the process of losing much
of her vision. There are things she can do about this, but
she will not be able to see as well as she used to. She can
make herself miserable fighting with this reality, or she
can do what she can and then let go. She does see better when
she relaxes her attempts to do so than when she is struggling
to see.
So, acceptance does not imply resignation. It is often in
the acceptance that we perceive the next step, but that in
itself is not and can not be the reason for acceptance. When
we think it is, we are kidding ourselves. By its very nature,
acceptance cannot have an agenda.
Counselling from the Heart is a form in
which many paths have been found to take us beyond our constant
struggle with life, our endless attempts to change things
and to find new solutions to our problems. We go beyond this
struggle to those depths where we can accept life as it is,
moment to moment. Here we find that the journey is the goal.
The great pilgrimage is not from here to there but from here
to here. |
